tree paint

I am doing a painting to put in the silent auction at our social house. It's a painting of a tree, which is just about the only thing I ever feel like drawing or painting lately. I don't know why, I don't know what it means, but I don't really care that much. I just love them. Now all you have to come and try and win it!

Strangely Familiar

I Saw something yesterday that triggered a memory that took me a while to figure where it was from.

Kurt and Courtney came in this weekend with their kiddies. It was a fun and busy weekend. As Kurt was trying to pack up and get everything all together last night, Sam was being a bit of a winy boy and just wanted his daddy. At one point I saw Kurt walk down our stairs and out the garage door, closing it behind him. He passed Sam along the way and left him behind. I saw this shudder of longing ripple through him. The one thing in the world that he wanted just left him. He was too torn up to understand that his dad was going to come back and get him in 2 minutes. He didn't care about anything else, he just wanted his dad to come and scoop him up and take him with him wherever he went.

As I saw this pain in him it triggered some kind of memory or feeling. I could remember that pain of someone leaving you. I guess I just remembered my parents leaving me at various times throughout my childhood. But this feeling seemed more recent. It took me a while to put a finger on it. But I recognized the feeling Sam had as the same one I have when Tom leaves me. It was such a subtle connection and in a different context that it took me a while. Once I figured it out, it seemed strangely comforting to pass that torch off from my parents as a child, to Tom as an adult.

Stretched

Today I feel like Bilbo when he had possession of the ring for too long.

"I feel...thin. Sort of stretched, like...butter scrapped over too much bread."

~Bilbo Baggins

People keep saying they will help me if I just ask! I'm not sure if it's that I don't like asking for help; I feel like I should be able to do it on my own if I just put my mind to it and stay organized and on top of things. But I keep convincing myself theres not really much I can get people to do. I am kind of the one who has to be doing it all. Either way it is a curse. I wish there were two of me at the moment. I'm pretty sure tomorrow will be better though, because I'm also pretty sure I'm just a winey complainer.