Plans

I have a feeling these next few months are going to be non stop. Right now my main concern is getting ready for Guatemala. I did happen to get the first phase of my shots, and just on time, with -1 day to spare. Yes that is a negative one. The rapid hepatitis B immunization takes 21 days. You get a needle on day zero, then one on day 7 and the last one to complete the cycle in on day 21. But according to this day counter I am leaving on day 20. Yes, I will be getting the last needle on day 20, most likely on my way to the airport...ha ha. Kind of not funny.

Then when I return it is full force wedding. Which I am having so much fun with! Just like every other girl who has dreamed and planned her wedding since she was 8 years old! Ha! Puke. I feel in situations like this the guys is actually supposed to do half the work, because we are enjoying it an equal amount. But let me warren you, that is not how it goes. Doesn't matter if I don't enjoy it, I still want an end result I am proud and happy of. I really don't think Tom's wedding would be very well organized. There really wouldn't be much to it. So here I am planning a wedding. Not on my own. Just...mostly! Ha.

I'll keep you posted.

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How am I doing?

I should be doing great...should be. I am seriously starting to think there is something wrong with me! Here are the facts;

Good things in my life right now:

1. I am engaged to the man I love.

2. We are looking for a house to live in together.

3. We are financially able to afford a house (which I think is pretty good for our age)

4. I am eating and sleeping great lately, resulting in me losing some weight, which never hurts!

5. I have a job that I am still enjoying-good hours and such.

6. I'm going to Guatemala in 3 weeks!

Things that I feel are taking over and making me feel stressed or depressed and I don't like it:

1. We can't find a freaking house that we like that likes us back.

2. There are 18 thousand other people getting married this summer (for some reason this is stressing me out beyond belief. Trying so very hard to get over it..)

3. There has been some stress at work this week.

4. I have to get a bunch of shots to go to Guatemala, and I can't get it together to go to the doctor/I don't have a doctor!

There are more items that belong on both of those list, but I don't want to keep you here forever. Basically, I should be having a really fun, exciting time right now and enjoying life. But I just can't seem to get it together. More often than not I feel angry, and bitter towards someone or something. Instead of feeling excitement I feel resentment and lost hope. Though I have been supported a fair amount I feel abandoned alone. What is wrong with me? I'm going to blame these feelings on the winter and pray it vanishes in Guatemala (if I don't die because I don't get my shots on time..)

Money, money, money, money, MONEY!

I feel like I have a lot going on lately. But I don't really feel overwhelmed. Mostly I just feel poor. I was with Tom the other night, and he seemed a little off. When I asked what was wrong he just replied, "I hate money." Ha ha, I know it kind of sucks sometimes, but we're really quite well off. I was just thinking of all the worse situations we could be in. First off we are already so young, for us (Tom) to even be approved for a mortgage is amazing! For me to have the chance to go to Guatemala 3 months before our wedding is also amazing! For us to have family that has the money and will start dishing it out if we run out and ask for it is also pretty amazing. I think we are in a pretty good situation, and I can't wait for it to all start playing out. Plus in both of our worrying we completely forgot about two things:

a) The Social House (yes basically a coffee house, but it's at the cafe I work at and there will be drinks) where I am hoping to make a little bit of extra cash to pay for this wicked sweet party we're going to throw on the Second of July.

b) At a wedding people just give you envelopes of money!! I know, how ridiculous, but hopefully we will be able to afford some cheap (used) furnishing for this so called house we are supposed to be buying. OR we can put it towards a little honeymoon or towards folk fest which is conveniently 4 days after our wedding.

So if you feel like sending some money our way I promise it will not go to waste. It will either benefit the little town of Izabel in Guatemala, or it will go towards a pretty awesome wedding that you will be invited to!